It is day nine of my juice fast and I am FED UP! Yes, completely FED UP. Not with the juice fast per se, just everything in general. I do try to stay positive most of the time but every now and then allow myself some fedupness (and liberty-taking with the English language).
The fast was going pretty well until yesterday when I tried a one-day water fast (I’m supposed to do a two-day water fast every week). I have been sticking to my program pretty well except for the past two days I have been nibbling on celery, blueberries and even ate a strawberry. Not much, just enough and I figure that they are all things that are recommended as part of an anti-cancer diet. But it is still cheating so I consider myself rebuked. Today I am back on juice and it is amazing how juice can fill you up.
So, why am I fed up? Well partly, I’m sure, because I could use a good meal and I tend to get pretty grumpy when I’m hungry. Partly due to the “menopause” that my new medication has catapulted me into. And largely because my legs are just not working properly any more. I have a constant aching and tiredness in my legs and an ever-present tingling in my legs and feet on both sides which feels like an electric current is running through them. Any movement is difficult but going up stairs and lifting my leg up to put on shoes or socks is nearly impossible. And it is getting worse every day. I’ve always been very active so this is quite a blow and completely new to me.
I have an appointment with my oncologist today and he will hopefully have the results of my recent MRI scan to see if there is anything notable causing this. However, most of these symptoms started the day I started taking my new hormonal medication so I am pretty sure it is mainly down to that. But, I was having problems with sciatica on my left side before I started the medication so the scan today may show something else. I am also due to start a new drug today called Ribociclib which works in conjunction with the hormonal treatment I am on and is a very new, recently approved medication. If, as I think, I will have to come off of the hormonal medication than I won’t be able to take this either. But we will see what he says. I may be now approaching the crossroads where I have to decide whether to continue traditional treatment or just go 100% with my supplementary treatments. Scary!
Anyway, that is enough moaning. I hate to be a downbeat but I did promise that this blog would be a truthful and accurate portrayal of life with terminal cancer and these days are part of the package. The trick is to keep the balance tipped in the right direction.
Yours in health and hunger,