Back home

Well, after five days of radiotherapy and a few nights in a nice hotel I am back home where I have been snoozily lazing in bed for two days. With whippet.

nurse whippet Jarvis

I will keep this short today. Did the radiotherapy work? I don’t know. I think it will take a few weeks if it does. However, I am still managing to walk a little bit and have some feeling left in my legs. Annoyingly, I have constant tingling and feelings of electric currents running down the side and back of my legs and into my feet. I don’t know if this is permanent but I am beginning to suspect it will be.

I am also feeling constantly a little bit nauseous and am unable to take any supplements at the moment as I cannot keep them down. I am very shaky and lightheaded which prevents me from moving around much. This could be an effect of the radiotherapy but I think it is much more likely to be from the hormonal drugs that I am now on. I see my consultant on Tuesday and will have to discuss this with him.

I am starting to eat a little bit again as I also am having trouble keeping juice down. Yesterday with Vicky’s help I made a huge miso soup full of spinach and seaweed which I managed to digest okay. For breakfast today I actually had an egg with some spinach. It is currently sitting in my stomach wondering what to do with itself.

First thing this morning I managed to drag myself out back to my studio/sauna room. Once I was there, it was so worth it! The sauna takes 15 minutes to warm up, which is perfect time for me to do some of my leg exercises and stretches on my Reformer. I am in the very lucky position to have suitable equipment for remedial exercise. No matter what shape I am in, there are always some Pilates exercises that I can do that will be beneficial and my intention is to do this every morning, followed by a sauna.

Now for the big news, I am in the process of dying my hair blonde! I am using a water-based dye (Daniel Field as I don’t use chemicals and am hoping that the blonde will cover my grey. I think it is unlikely to work as my hair is probably a bit too dark (and the dye cannot lighten hair) but it is worth a try and if it doesn’t work then I will try a darker shade. I really want to try pink but they don’t do the colour.

hair dye
Green hair under here? I hope not.

Now I have to go and wash the dye out of my hair and see what happens! Wish me luck.


Yours in health and blondeness




Just Jen

Author: Jen

Jen Ainger is a 47 year old cancer babe, previous Pilates instructor and owner/manager of Eltham Pilates & Pilates 4 Scoliosis. Born and bred in Fredericton, New Brunswick in Eastern Canada she moved to the UK in 1993 (and now would like to tell you that she knows her “pants” from her “trousers”). She trained with Body Control Pilates in 2004 and opened the Little Pilates Studio in Greenwich soon after. The studio was sold in 2014 and she saw clients in her home studio until being diagnosed with terminal breast cancer in July 2018, a life-changing diagnosis that set her off on a whole new path in search of healing, a journey being recorded in her blog. Jen is currently living in Eltham, Southeast London with her husband, whippet and 4-year old son. (Jen is now trying to raise money to cover the escalating costs of supplementary treatment as mainstream medical treatment can only offer palliative care. You can help out by donating through her GoFundMe page by clicking on the link in the menu at the top right).

2 thoughts on “Back home”

  1. Thank you so much for maintaining and sharing your indomitable spirit in these blogs.

    You talked in your previous blog of feeling guilty about not being enough of a mother for Charlie. When he grows up and reads these blogs one day he will be filled with awe that you were able to show such courage, hope and humour in the face of such adversity. he will treasure such a mother for the rest of his life.

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